Sometimes we learn more from day-to-day life than we might think.
One of the most poignant conversations I had during my mission was only a few sentences. We had been invited at someone's home for dinner. This family was great. They all were wonderful to be around. However, they were also somewhat different from most other families that we visited. I believe the father was a NASCAR pit-stop mechanic of some kind, I never talked with him. He seemed very quiet, probably because  we seemed reluctant to talk with him as well. Anyway, as we were getting ready to have dinner one night we were setting the table, and I guess the mother drank sweet tea with her meals, so she brought out a bottle. I knew that this was against the teachings of the prophet of our church, but I wasn't going to say anything at that time. If you read in the New Testament, the Savior doesn't go around correcting people. In fact, sometimes he takes the opposite approach from that which the religious people of that time thought he should. Anyway, I was acting completely normal, and then I guess this sister looked at me in a way that told me that she saw me as one who would judge her and correct her for her bad habit, so she said "Elder, please just let me have this one thing. It is my one thing." She said something along those lines. And I was surprised, because in the first place I wasn't going to say anything, and secondly the manner in which she acknowledged it showed that there was a large amount of guilt she felt by doing this "one thing". Did she see me as some sort of moral authority over her home? Anyway, it didn't make any amount of sense to me why she did not give it up if she felt so incredibly guilty doing it, to the point that she had to directly ask me to let it alone without me so much as looking at her funny. Sin in the lives of everyday people can be a very interesting thing to observe.

Take what lesson you will from this.

I found through that experience that following the Spirit is the best way to fulfill what God sends you to people to do. The Spirit is the measure for us of "how close am I to doing what God wants?". We can't make one ourselves.

The key is not being afraid to speak up, because that will sometimes be required and also because fear interferes with our spiritual "antennae" and prevents us from knowing what it is that we do need to do. Whether we are to call someone out verbally, or just by our silent spiritual presence prompt some healthy introspection, is not our decision but the Father's. He will let us know through the Holy Spirit what we are to do. But we should keep our minds open to the idea that sometimes just our being there is enough to make people think. Sometimes we don't even have to know the person well, but they recognize something different about us. They see that we hold ourselves to a high standard. I believe that spiritual power is a tangible result of righteous living and you don't always need to consciously choose to use it in a specific way, but you do have to work hard to develop it and to keep it.

On Abortion

Anyone who supports abortion without reservation has lost their grip on reality and their eternal soul.
Why do we always define abortion as ending a pregnancy? Are we afraid to acknowledge the bigger picture that we are in reality ending a life?
I recently saw a post on Facebook from someone that read "women's bodies are not political battlefields". But politics is exactly that- a way to delineate what rights one person has against another. Does age matter? Does the unborn child have rights like other humans, or is he on animal terms?
If you live in a 3rd world country and your parents are aged will you leave them in the wilderness because no one can tell you what to do with your house? That is the same argument!
This is a deeply spiritual argument. You are not your body. Your body is a gift from God (or however you want to describe that concept). It is not your prerogative to use as you wish. Your free will is will to resist the right choice and be happy, or choose the wrong and in this case spend time behind bars. To believe otherwise is simply not the truth.
In what kind of upside-down worldview does the process of killing a fetus being safe have any bearing at all on whether it is right or wrong? That is merely an attempt to distract.
Bill Nye's video was a joke. Probably one of the least intelligent things I have ever heard from the lips of an "educated" human. He essentially claimed that he was going to derail the pro-life argument through science- and then only brought up one scientific fact in the rest of the video. A fact that was- the egg and sperm have to attach to the wall of the placenta to make a baby. That has NOTHING to do with the pro-life argument. If the egg and sperm don't make a baby in the first place, we wouldn't even be having this conversation, would we?! But some of them do, and some of those are murdered. That is the issue. Bill, you officially brought nothing to the conversation but your condescending intellect. Thank you for showing us the real you. I liked the "Science Guy" better.
It seems like the only way to have a popular argument nowadays is to insult the intelligence of the other side and say that they hold their opinions out of ignorance.
Mr. Nye should watch this video for a reality check from someone who seems to be much more up-to-speed with the "science" of abortion http://video.dailycaller.com/Pastor-Is-Asked-Is-Abortion-Murder-His-Response-Gave-Me-Chills-29536565
More civil rights vs. less murder of innocent humans- how is there even a question?
As a society we often have to deny people rights in order to protect other people! We have to give EVERYONE as many rights as possible, not just you! This is a basic principle of law. In a democratic society, you can't do whatever you want. You can do what the majority and their representatives think is fair for you to do, according to how it affects others. And at times you can't even do something that only affects you- For example, I don't have the right to do crystal meth- even though I would possibly be the only one affected (assuming I had no family or friend ties). So why should you be able to get an abortion, which is as destructive spiritually as hard drugs are mentally and physically?
A scripture in the Bible comes to mind, which I know many of you won't value but here it is-
"Will a mother forget her sucking child? Nay, she may forget, but I will not forget thee." I used to think that was an extreme example for God to use, thinking that it would never happen. I used to say "of course no woman with a conscience is going to forget her newborn baby, who depends so strongly on her that it literally becomes a parasitical relationship"- she knows that the baby needs her! Yet this is exactly what's happening with abortion.
People who have had abortions often think "now I have to turn around and support other people doing the same." If you say that you are also saying through deductive reasoning that you would get another abortion again if you were in the same situation. Therefore why should pro-life people accept you? If you hold this opinion you are NOT a victim of judgment by bigoted Christians and other pro-life people- you are an advocate of the slaughter of humans. By maintaining your support of abortion you are asking for our criticism, which we feel duty-bound to give!
Some who have abortions later recognize that it was regrettable and unfortunate and therefore you discourage others from having one to spare them the same pain- that is a completely different thing. It absolutely is very different for someone to continue supporting this evil practice!
One common viewpoint in my church is that abortions are only a valid option if the mother was impregnated through rape. If God were here I think that in the majority if cases He would promise these mothers that the baby will be a blessing to them, that they will receive strength, and to go through with the pregnancy and birth. As horrific as rape is there is a reason behind everything. Perhaps one good thing can come from something so horrible. God works in mysterious ways. One thing is for sure- nothing good will come out of an abortion.
Maybe God tests people to see how much you value the life He places inside of you and what kind of sacrifice you are willing to make.
It's not just about believing in God, however- it is about valuing human life.
Another exception is if the mother's life is at stake. To me that is the point where it becomes the woman's decision. I can understand getting an abortion in that scenario. However anything short of  life-threatening pregnancies should never be aborted. Ever.
I can see this issue going on for a while... but when our kids are learning history 100 years from now will they honor the pro-choice, or the pro-life? Which side do you think they will sympathize with? Something to think about.
I am glad we have a government to stop crazy ladies from killing their unborn children. That is what they should be doing. If women want to avoid these consequences, they can take steps to avoid pregnancy.
Those of us who value the lives of the unborn need to be more vocal and active in advocating for them in intelligent ways, but never compromise on the right of an unborn child to their life.

A Comment for Chelsea Shield's TED talk- Women and the Priesthood

Spiritual and religious ignorance are pervasive, destructive seeds of unnecessary conflict. Of course no one needs to be silenced or feel guilty for expressing themselves. But if we want solutions rather than dialogue, we need to understand true information.

1) The worth of a soul is absolutely independent from gender, race, sexual orientation, values/beliefs, religious affiliation, choice of lifestyle, and anything else you can fill in the blank with. This is the stance of the LDS Church.

2) Mormons believe that no individual's worth is tied to their choices. I believe that misconception comes from a strict moral code that the devout adhere to out of pure love for God and disdain for sin because of its consequences, but that unfortunately often comes off as a "holier-than-thou" lifestyle. That is unfortunate, but it is not an issue of having high standards. High standards help people. Rather, it's an issue of people's personal problems- We have them, just like everyone else in this world. However, because we are the ones "claiming moral authority" in a sense, we are expected to back it up by our actions. That's not an unrealistic expectation by society, in fact it's probably a healthy one because it aligns with God's expectations. It would be helpful to those involved on both sides, however, if there were a little more patience and love. In any organization, man's self-gratifying nature will be to twist a "better" life into a "better-than-you" life, turning everything into a battle about who is following God more closely. This is the whole problem.

3) Therefore, no members of the Church are justified in hating Sister Shields for wearing a sleeveless dress, even if it does indicate that she is not wearing a garment. I do find it interesting, at the least, to see someone who has taken this "side road" attempt to now suddenly be a representative for our faith and a hopeful leader. But her value as a person and divine potential are not diminished. The conditions of her salvation are not somehow changed. They are the same conditions as rest upon the entire human family, and they aren't conditions that the Church "made up". They are eternal realities revealed to prophets and evidenced to me through spiritual moments and every day experience. I know that they are true in the most accurate sense of that word.

Some extra reading for those inclined

Mormons have been women's rights champions from the beginning- Utah was actually the second state after Wyoming to adopt women's suffrage in 1870. For every women who chooses to take Sister Shield's position, there will be more who feel nothing but enabled by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, even discounting the lower 80% of the social strata (Not to be a social Darwinist, but to anticipate the following counter-argument- educated people aren't worth more either).

As others in this thread have commented, there is not simply a dumb or uninformed majority of women in the Church- they excel in the world. There is no army waiting to back Shields up when they become enlightened and realize that they are being stifled. Rather, most LDS women understand that in no way is the simple reality of not bearing the priesthood restricting in and of itself. Not spiritually, not physically, and not socially. If women are below men today in LDS culture, that is not a Church organization issue, that is a cultural issue rooted in sin. The cure is Christ, not reform to a divinely established institution.

There is so much more to leading Mormons and Mormon communities than administering the few Priesthood ordinances and functions given to men. Of the pie of service opportunities, only the most extreme dieter would limit themselves to the slice for which bearing the priesthood is required to eat.

Though it does appear paradoxical, my argument is different than the argument that holding the priesthood is "only a formality and that's why women don't need it". I am saying that it should be obvious to all faithful persons that God will more than compensate everyone for any opportunities to serve that they may miss out on by virtue of not holding the priesthood. If you believe in the Plan of Salvation, you will recognize that there can never be a shortage of good to do. And I am also saying that service done in the priesthood does not put the doer of that service on a higher level of worth to God that only worthy priesthood holders can reach. There's no "bonus level".


The root of this entire issue is men for generations believing or acting the opposite of the above paragraph, using the priesthood to levy themselves above their families, their congregations, and their real spiritual selves. That is unfortunate, and that is not likely to change. It is a separate issue that can be addressed through dialogue about how we can eradicate pride among our male leaders. Ironically, this dialogue takes place every six months, in a meeting for men only that some of the comments in this thread seem to indicate is one of the grievances Shields and her crowd are railing against. Complex, complex...

But also, at the end of the day, let's face the facts and acknowledge that we tend to overemphasize the influence of priesthood leaders in our personal lives. Their leadership is greater than 99 percent through example and teaching. In other words, if a bishop is bigoted, usually the worst thing he will do is gloat at the podium and tell us how much better his kids are at making tin-foil dinners or pinewood derby cars. Maybe some exaggerated mission stories will follow... That is a problem, but gratefully that's where it ends, largely because he has two councilors and a ward council to keep him in line, as well as the entire membership to answer to. So the answer isn't "reform the Church", perhaps it is "reform the leaders". Although they rotate frequently and their issues may be deep and difficult to address, helping our leaders lead us may be the best thing we can do. Is that not part of sustaining them?

Another topic that I do not have room or time to comment on is how to have faith that these leaders are called of God when they sometimes seem so incompetent, or at least "less-competent" than Brother business-executive or whoever seems to be the man for the job.

Finally, we are all beggars to God and ultimately nothing more than the "dust of the Earth". The spiteful dialogue found in this thread makes all of us look like the spoiled children of a very indulgent parent who is now apt to regret indulging us. Issues need to be addressed, but the underlying issue here is not a religion problem or a gender problem, it's a side effect of humanity's generally overinflated ego.  I believe that the debate on how to best work through this should be framed on that acknowledgement. Let's be accountable.

I also believe that Sister Shield's talk would not exist if local leaders were more aware of the feelings and needs of their members and were willing to work with them while continuing to uphold the teachings of Jesus Christ. That will be my screeching halt to this lengthy disquisition.

Awakening

Two things I know better now than when I left- One God is great. The other is that I'm tiny. Like microscopic. Picture a grain of sand on a stretch of beach. Pick it up- You can't even pick just one up, can you? You get one you get a thousand. A grain of sand might fly into you with the speed of a freight train and you might not notice.

The immensity of my smallness is mind-boggling (blogging?). Alright, enough with the cheesy humor!

I went into the mission field a dreamy-eyed boy with his head in the clouds. I knew the principles of living the life of a follower of Christ, but because I didn't have any real-world experience all my understanding was theoretical. The scriptures, like a textbook, provided me with knowledge, and answered my questions, but I didn't have the application because I hadn't seen enough people change. That is essential! Change is the whole reason we came here rather than live in pre-mortality forever.

Did we know the Plan of Salvation before? Of course. If not for the veil, we wouldn't have to be reminded of that here. So learning is not the primary goal of mortality, although it is noble. We are truly here to change, to experience life and find a way to deal with it through the Savior. Which means (like I learned in the mission field) it's not enough to spend all our waking hours studying, pondering, reading, praying and worshipping. That is what I did at home, and it became a struggle for missionaries who carried that attitude.

To fill all our time with good things is not good enough. We cannot afford to neglect the best- Christlike service to others. To live otherwise is avoiding the real purpose of life. Those formerly mentioned activities- reading the scriptures, praying, and other activities- are a means to an end. They lift us through our lives. They are not to take the place of them. Faith without works is dead!

One of my favorite quotes is from D. Todd Christofferson. He says "go to work so there is something for God to help us with!"

We must be engaged in the world. Be "in the world"- not by force but by choice! You being born should not be the only reason you're here. If you take that attitude you will end up simply biding your time through mortality, and that is not what the Savior wants. He set the example for us by working! He knew there would be a night, and He would have to account for what had happened. But along with your conscious choice to be in the world, also choose to not allow yourself to be converted to the world- do not be "of the world."

The "human experience" is an interesting phrase, because since it involves any experience had by humans it could be left at experience. Regardless, relationships will always be at the heart of the "human experience." My time in the mission field gave me opportunities to practice this. I had some time in the gym. Almost like a football play or any athletic drill- you run it over and over until it comes as close to perfect as possible for you. That's a good comparison for the mission field. You get up, go throughout your day trying to make as few mistakes as possible, but you do make them. So the next day you try to avoid those and you end up making others that seem to sneak out of nowhere. And so it goes.

This is why missions are stressful. But it's not missions alone- anyone who strives to live the Gospel can relate with this. As covenant people we have a lot of weight on our shoulders. The standard for us is different. There is no connection between God's expectations and society's expectations but such as is created when individuals within society adapt God's standards.

There is a mix, I think, of two ways to deal with this. Both can be helpful at certain points. One, you stop trying- lower your vision and your expectations. You give up and tell God "I just can't do this part of it right now." That is one way people deal with stress. Change the activity, get out of the situation- whatever you need to do to regroup and focus on the one thing that's important at that point in time.

Sometimes that type of surrender is associated with failure and cowardice. And that's where the other solution comes in, to give us an answer to the question "am I not failing by walking away?" And that answer, which is no, comes from perspective.

Heavenly Father has THE perspective. He's the only one with all the answers. For our perspectives to be helpful, they need to be based in His perspective. Because sometimes He knows when we are trying to do things that we aren't capable of doing at the time we are doing them. That is why He teaches "it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength." It is not always failure to recognize your weakness and say "right now, this is too much for me." If it is important to God, it will get done- but He would rather have someone else do it than have you paralyzed and full of fear. God's work will involve a lot of stress, but not that kind. God will always motivate. He is only harsh on the rebellious.

I suppose what I'm trying to express here could be summed up in one word- desire. Sometimes our passion for perfection beats our desire for God or His Spirit. God expects our desire, our passion, and our heart, but when we get in His way and say I'm going to be accountable to myself- when I win I'm going to give myself credit, and when I fall short I'm going to be the one to punish myself, there's the problem. You are not the final judge of what you've done and who you are- That requires divine perspective. To reach a higher plane, someone has to pull us up.

Now I know someone who reads this is thinking I'm advocating some type of "no-fault discipleship". Aren't we supposed to hold ourselves accountable? Isn't that essential? And shouldn't we be alarmed if something in our lives isn't right? And isn't there anything we can do about it?

First, we do need to hold ourselves accountable. Accountable to God, only. When we get lost in trying to meet what others or ourselves would have it will become a big mud puddle. We do not obey ourselves. We can set goals, but it is more of a good time than a consequential pattern of choices with eternal consequences. Church leaders and the government are obvious exceptions as far as their counsel originates with God!

Second, only as far as it helps us repent. In other words, if it comes from a desire to be close to God, it's good. It gets the stamp of approval. However, if it comes from you wanting to be perfect in something not important to God than it's obviously not from God. He wouldn't ask you to do something unimportant to Him. In this case, it's from the other side, so be careful! And remember that perfection will not come in this life so don't get consumed by it- don't covet something you won't be able to obtain!

There is perhaps a more complex question at the bottom of this: "Why did He, knowing that we couldn't reach perfection as mortals, then command us to be perfect? Why did He ask us to be something we absolutely couldn't?" I do not have a simple answer for that question. But I do have some deep speculation that might cause you to get lost in "wandering roads" diverging from the tree of life- or make you think. Like the forbidden fruit...

We can look in the scriptures and find at least one example of conflicting commandments- the Garden of Eden. Why would God bring this to pass?

In Isaiah, God states "my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." In Psalms, we are taught to "lean not unto (our) own understanding." Teachings like this tell me part of the answer to this question.

If we partake of the fruit because we desire the "eternal life of man," are we guilty of breaking a commandment? Only according to the letter of the commandments; not the purpose.

God was testing Adam's (and Eve's) ability to be independent from Himself by seeing whether He would look beyond the words he was told at what was actually taking place in the eternal plan. Would God have the entire Plan frustrated because of Adam's solely literal (letter) obedience by not eating the fruit, or would He rather have Adam's heartfelt obedience to a greater commandment- the commandment to love?

Also think about this: What is the difference between Adam & Eve partaking to spite Heavenly Father and them doing it out of love for the human race, realizing that only through their descension could they enable out mortal experience and thereby our happiness? Truly "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they may have joy."

Ironically, the selfish choice and probably more sinful (according to my judgement) would have been to remain in the garden of Eden. This would be denying us our second estate. Not good!

How does this connect to perfectionist tendencies and the stress disciples experience from it? It's just like the garden- the literal commandment is to be perfect, but what is the greatest commandment? LOVE, and do whatever it takes to do the actions associated with that v-e-r-b.

If I was trying to think my way through the Plan of Salvation, calculating the fastest way to land myself in the Celestial Kingdom and gain exaltation, I would keep the greatest commandment. If obedience if the first law of heaven, what straighter, simpler way to perfection could there be than keeping the most important commandment?

So when you get worried about being perfect, don't ask "am I perfect?" Ask "do I love perfectly?" That means everyone, everywhere, all the time.

If you love (verb) perfectly God and your fellow man, you will be perfect in the true sense of the word. The sense that God always uses and certainly the sense He was using when He gave that commandment in the first place.

Sometimes people measure perfection by human scales- what do I eat, what are my habits, what is my IQ, how much am I achieving- It's at that point that people beat themselves up. It's no wonder, because in the world there is always better, bigger, stronger... There is no possible way for a mortal to be perfect according to his own standard. Even when they are succeeding according to God, the Devil always manages to convince these people they are failing at something. They get discouraged. And this tends to happen, in my experience, with some of the most dedicated disciples and consecrated Christians. It's a great temptation for Satan to be able to get someone normally out of his reach, because it appeals to their desire to be good!

This is why the Gospel must be taught and understood simply- a few simple perversions and viola! Apostasy. Lucifer turns a commandment designed to keep us safe into a weapon used for our spiritual destruction.

If we allow our energy to be consumed by sharpening our intellectual perception and tangible obedience of God's law, we are in danger of missing the purpose thereof.

The Lord would rather have real disciples serving with whole heart in His kingdom, helping to carry out His great plan than a class of straight A students in the school of life.

-Jacob

P.S. Not sure why this topic reminds me of a song...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrsJL_HlsAs

Llama-fests: Why I Love College

I love college. I am so lucky to be here at BYU.

The Tetons are beautiful, but I have not been disappointed with the natural beauty of Utah Valley. BYU is a beautiful campus, and the mountains to the East leave nothing to be missed. In fact, they remind me of home. Here, the mountains can still tell me where East is.

I love my dorm. We have a kitchen, two bedrooms, and a living room between four people. I love how respectful my roommates are of each other's belongings, and it is so nice to have a standard of decency without constant nagging.

Everyone observes a place and a time for everything, from silent meditation in the chapel to partying hard till 2am.

I really don't have anything bad to say about my life right now, although a larger budget wouldn't hurt...

This weekend was great. On Friday, I got to bed at 2am after games at the girls' dorm, and then on Saturday, a few of us got up at 8 to hike Y mountain, which is a thing here. It's a really short hike, but I'm feeling a little of it today because the incline is so steep.

After the hike, we watched a movie, and then went to a Llamafest. Yes, a llamafest. A festival of llamas. It was quite the experience. There were spotted llamas, plain llamas, young llamas, old llamas, but mostly really fluffy llamas. I'm going to post pictures (I think I can do that on here). We only spent an hour there, but I would have been happy to spend much more time with the noble llamas.

The llama-fest was held at a Hindu temple in Spanish Fork, Utah, which is about a half-hour south of Provo. The temple was quite beautiful. I donned it "UTaj Mahal." The ceiling was painted in great detail, and carvings of animals and canopies were everywhere. In the front, there was an altar-like place of dark, delicately-carved wood and a canister of burning incense. A few men sat on a rug to the side of the altar, playing instruments and answering questions about the Hindu religion. There was a gift shop in the basement.

I learned a lot about hinduism in even just the few minutes that I sat and listened- Mainly that Hinduism, much like Buddhism, is more accurately described as a philosophy about religion rather than a true religion. I want to avoid making uninformed claims, so I won't say more about that. However, the whole environment of the place was aesthetically pleasing, from the coy pond outside to the majestic temple and the crane carvings inside.